The Greatest Worst Movie

Being an art student, I get to benefit from practical examinations while the rest of you textbook slaves needle away memorizing useful things like... I don't know, whatever it is you boring people study.
I'm kidding.

Anyways, I was left exam-less and what better way to spend a day than to frolic in the concrete wasteland of New Minas and watch a movie.

I went with my friend Tom, which means that already we were headed for trouble simply because when Tom and I hang out we are a rampaging couple of assholes. Funny assholes. But assholes nonetheless. So here we were standing in front of the theatah and our options are dismal. So, why bore ourselves with a mediocre movie when we could see DRAGON BALL EVOLUTION?

Never mind going to see a movie worth the eight dollars, lets nuke our brains with the biggest crap movie of life. The empty theatre should have been clue enough that this movie was going to take a steaming dump on our faces. It was awesome.

First of all, the acting: Now maybe this is because I'm a theatre major which automatically makes me a pretentious douche, but I swear to God there wasn't a moment where I wasn't cringing. Emmy Rossum is in the movie. Fucking Phantom of the Opera is in DRAGONBALL. Girl sang with Pavarotti and she's running around a green screen 'tracking energies'?
Here is a sample of the ace acting:
'Are you the one who stole my orb?'
'no, are you the one that killed my grandfather?'
'no, give me your orb'
'no, I promised on the death of my grandfather that I would not give away my orb'
'well, mine was stolen. Can I buy yours?'
'no.'
'I could have killed you.'

This conversation could be funny, if they didn't say it in complete earnest.

On top of the effects whose sole focus was on slow motion water droplets and colourful mist, the writing which was full of the typical 'i won't lose you' lines, and lots of yummy plot holes...one of our ex-profs showed up.
And he wasn't there to make fun of it.

So yes, Dragonball Evolution is an awful movie. There wasn't one single thing in that movie that saved it. But its so awful, it's amazing.

I'd download it. You should too.